Karl Pilkington Quotes And Sayings

People Who Live In Glass Houses... Have To Answer The Door.

It's Not A Joke: I Really Do Like Being At Home.

Making The 'An Idiot Abroad' Series, I Was Really Dreading Going To India; I Thought I'd Hate It. It Was A Nightmare, And I Was Really Ill - Just Like Everyone Says.

I Found That Being With Happy Positive People Annoys Me.

You Know, When You're A Producer, You're A Bit Of A Lackey. You're Just Making Cups Of Tea And Making Sure They've Got Newspaper, Stuff Like That.

I'm Not Invited To Any Exciting Parties And My Life Hasn't Really Changed.

I Came Face-to-face With A Gorilla Which Was Quite Good, But It Was A 10-hour Trek In Bad Weather, Up Hills, Covered In Mud, With Mosquitoes Everywhere And When We Got There The Gorilla's Just Sat There Doing Nowt.

I Had A Bad Experience Doing Public Speaking At School. I Had To Talk About A Pen For Five Minutes And It Was Really Hard Work. I Couldn't Wait To Get Off The Stage.

I've Never Won Many Awards, I Didn't Get Certificates For Swimming Or Anything.

To Be Honest, Marriage Doesn't Scare Me And That, It's Just Once You've Been Together For So Long, If You Haven't Got Any Kids It's Just A Big Expensive Day Out For Everyone Else To Enjoy, Isn't It?

I Don't Think I'd Be A Very Good Parent. I'd Be Too Honest.

Chinese People Age Overnight.

I Don't Know What The Future Is, But You Just Do It Whilst It's There, Don't You?

Comedy's Really Subjective, You Know; That's Why It's So Hard.

Me Mum Used To Always Have The Radio On - Even Now She Has It On In Every Room. Me Girlfriend Sort Of Blames That Reason For Me Not Doing That Well At School - Constant Noise, Really.

But I'm Not An Idiot. At The End Of The Day, I've Learned A Lot.

I Don't Know What I'm Meant To Do. I'm Not Important, Am I? I'm Not Doing Anything That Makes A Difference.

I Think It's A Problem When Something's A Dream Because It'll Never Live Up To Your Expectations. It's Better To Go Somewhere Thinking It'll Be Horrible, And Then Be Pleasantly Surprised.

If You're Doing The Same Job Every Day, There's Room For Error.

I Don't Really Go Out At Night In Terms Of Noisy, Busy Places; I Prefer More Of A Quiet Corner Somewhere.

Comedy's Really Subjective, You Know.

All Fame Is Is Having People You Don't Know Coming Up To You And Saying, 'Hello.' I'm Always Polite And People Are Always Nice, But It's Weird.

I Don't Watch Much Telly, The Telly Hardly Goes On, But The Things I Do Watch Are Sort Of Nature Programs, And Something About The Oceans And The Amount Of Weird Fish That's In There.

I Don't Want To Go About Offending People; That's Not My Plan.

I Mean, I Don't Really Go Out At Night In Terms Of Noisy, Busy Places; I Prefer More Of A Quiet Corner Somewhere.

We Should All Love Animals.

With Acting, I Didn't Get Much From It.

And We've Got A Toaster And Everything. So There Is No Reason For The Wedding.

I Don't Know What 'Famous' Is, Really.

Yesterday, I Did Some Painting Then Went Out To Buy An Onion And Came Home And Watched 'University Challenge.' The Onion Was Probably The Highlight.