Will Rogers Quotes And Sayings

It's Easy Being A Humorist When You've Got The Whole Government Working For You.

Make Crime Pay. Become A Lawyer.

Why Don't They Pass A Constitutional Amendment Prohibiting Anybody From Learning Anything? If It Works As Well As Prohibition Did, In Five Years Americans Would Be The Smartest Race Of People On Earth.

Anything Important Is Never Left To The Vote Of The People. We Only Get To Vote On Some Man; We Never Get To Vote On What He Is To Do.

An Ignorant Person Is One Who Doesn't Know What You Have Just Found Out.

I Never Expected To See The Day When Girls Would Get Sunburned In The Places They Now Do.

A Fool And His Money Are Soon Elected.

If Stupidity Got Us Into This Mess, Then Why Can't It Get Us Out?

You've Got To Go Out On A Limb Sometimes Because That's Where The Fruit Is.

A Remark Generally Hurts In Proportion To Its Truth.

The Farmer Has To Be An Optimist Or He Wouldn't Still Be A Farmer.

People's Minds Are Changed Through Observation And Not Through Argument.

Last Year We Said, 'Things Can't Go On Like This', And They Didn't, They Got Worse.

Even Though You Are On The Right Track - You Will Get Run Over If You Just Sit There.

The Only Difference Between Death And Taxes Is That Death Doesn't Get Worse Every Time Congress Meets.

Now If There Is One Thing That We Do Worse Than Any Other Nation, It Is Try And Manage Somebody Else's Affairs.

Democrats Never Agree On Anything, That's Why They're Democrats. If They Agreed With Each Other, They Would Be Republicans.

The Time To Save Is Now. When A Dog Gets A Bone, He Doesn't Go Out And Make A Down Payment On A Bigger Bone. He Buries The One He's Got.

Everything Is Changing. People Are Taking Their Comedians Seriously And The Politicians As A Joke.

There Are Three Kinds Of Men. The One That Learns By Reading. The Few Who Learn By Observation. The Rest Of Them Have To Pee On The Electric Fence For Themselves.

If You Can Build A Business Up Big Enough, It's Respectable.

The Schools Ain't What They Used To Be And Never Was.

If The Other Fellow Sells Cheaper Than You, It Is Called Dumping. 'Course, If You Sell Cheaper Than Him, That's Mass Production.

We Don't Seem To Be Able To Check Crime, So Why Not Legalize It And Then Tax It Out Of Business?

You Can't Say Civilization Don't Advance... In Every War They Kill You In A New Way.

America Is A Nation That Conceives Many Odd Inventions For Getting Somewhere But It Can Think Of Nothing To Do Once It Gets There.

Chaotic Action Is Preferable To Orderly Inaction.

A Difference Of Opinion Is What Makes Horse Racing And Missionaries.

Instead Of Giving Money To Found Colleges To Promote Learning, Why Don't They Pass A Constitutional Amendment Prohibiting Anybody From Learning Anything? If It Works As Good As The Prohibition One Did, Why, In Five Years We Would Have The Smartest Race Of People On Earth.

I Am Not A Member Of Any Organized Political Party. I Am A Democrat.

Alexander Hamilton Started The U.s. Treasury With Nothing, And That Was The Closest Our Country Has Ever Been To Being Even.

The Only Way You Can Beat The Lawyers Is To Die With Nothing.

Advertising Is The Art Of Convincing People To Spend Money They Don't Have For Something They Don't Need.

The 1928 Republican Convention Opened With A Prayer. If The Lord Can See His Way Clear To Bless The Republican Party The Way It's Been Carrying On, Then The Rest Of Us Ought To Get It Without Even Asking.

Worrying Is Like Paying On A Debt That May Never Come Due.

It's A Good Thing We Don't Get All The Government We Pay For.

Get Someone Else To Blow Your Horn And The Sound Will Carry Twice As Far.

A Man Only Learns In Two Ways, One By Reading, And The Other By Association With Smarter People.

The Worst Thing That Happens To You May Be The Best Thing For You If You Don't Let It Get The Best Of You.

Good Judgment Comes From Experience, And A Lot Of That Comes From Bad Judgment.

If You Want To Be Successful, It's Just This Simple. Know What You Are Doing. Love What You Are Doing. And Believe In What You Are Doing.

So Let's Be Honest With Ourselves And Not Take Ourselves Too Serious, And Never Condemn The Other Fellow For Doing What We Are Doing Every Day, Only In A Different Way.

The Difference Between A Republican And A Democrat Is The Democrat Is A Cannibal They Have To Live Off Each Other, While The Republicans, Why, They Live Off The Democrats.

There Is No More Independence In Politics Than There Is In Jail.

I Guess There Is Nothing That Will Get Your Mind Off Everything Like Golf. I Have Never Been Depressed Enough To Take Up The Game, But They Say You Get So Sore At Yourself You Forget To Hate Your Enemies.

Our Constitution Protects Aliens, Drunks And U.s. Senators.

In Hollywood The Woods Are Full Of People That Learned To Write But Evidently Can't Read. If They Could Read Their Stuff, They'd Stop Writing.

Diplomats Are Just As Essential To Starting A War As Soldiers Are For Finishing It... You Take Diplomacy Out Of War, And The Thing Would Fall Flat In A Week.

A Holding Company Is A Thing Where You Hand An Accomplice The Goods While The Policeman Searches You.

Money And Women Are The Most Sought After And The Least Known About Of Any Two Things We Have.