Groucho Marx Quotes And Sayings

In Hollywood, Brides Keep The Bouquets And Throw Away The Groom.

I Have A Mind To Join A Club And Beat You Over The Head With It.

Please Accept My Resignation. I Don't Care To Belong To Any Club That Will Have Me As A Member.

I Didn't Like The Play, But Then I Saw It Under Adverse Conditions - The Curtain Was Up.

I Never Forget A Face, But In Your Case I'll Be Glad To Make An Exception.

Those Are My Principles, And If You Don't Like Them... Well, I Have Others.

Marry Me And I'll Never Look At Another Horse!

It Isn't Necessary To Have Relatives In Kansas City In Order To Be Unhappy.

Whoever Named It Necking Was A Poor Judge Of Anatomy.

I'm Not Feeling Very Well - I Need A Doctor Immediately. Ring The Nearest Golf Course.

I Must Confess, I Was Born At A Very Early Age.

I Remember The First Time I Had Sex - I Kept The Receipt.

Room Service? Send Up A Larger Room.

Wives Are People Who Feel They Don't Dance Enough.

I Won't Belong To Any Organization That Would Have Me As A Member.

I Wish To Be Cremated. One Tenth Of My Ashes Shall Be Given To My Agent, As Written In Our Contract.

One Morning I Shot An Elephant In My Pajamas. How He Got Into My Pajamas I'll Never Know.

Why, I'd Horse-whip You If I Had A Horse.

Outside Of A Dog, A Book Is A Man's Best Friend. Inside Of A Dog It's Too Dark To Read.

Who Are You Going To Believe, Me Or Your Own Eyes?