Rodney Dangerfield Quotes And Sayings

My Wife Can't Cook At All. She Made Chocolate Mousse. An Antler Got Stuck In My Throat.

When I Played In The Sandbox, The Cat Kept Covering Me Up.

At Twenty A Man Is Full Of Fight And Hope. He Wants To Reform The World. When He Is Seventy He Still Wants To Reform The World, But He Know He Can't.

My Wife Is Always Trying To Get Rid Of Me. The Other Day She Told Me To Put The Garbage Out. I Said To Her I Already Did. She Told Me To Go And Keep An Eye On It.

I'm At The Age Where Food Has Taken The Place Of Sex In My Life. In Fact, I've Just Had A Mirror Put Over My Kitchen Table.

I Drink Too Much. The Last Time I Gave A Urine Sample It Had An Olive In It.