Brené Brown is an American scholar, author, and public speaker, who is currently a research professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work. Over the last fifteen years she has been involved in research on a range of topics, including vulnerability, courage, shame, and empathy. She is the author of three #1 New York Times Bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and Rising Strong. She and her work have been featured on PBS, NPR, TED, and CNN.
If I Feel Good About My Parenting, I Have No Interest In Judging Other People's Choices. If I Feel Good About My Body, I Don't Go Around Making Fun Of Other People's Weight Or Appearance. We're Hard On Each Other Because We're Using Each Other As A Launching Pad Out Of Our Own Perceived Deficiency.
As Unique As We All Are, An Awful Lot Of Us Want The Same Things. We Want To Shake Up Our Current Less-than-fulfilling Lives. We Want To Be Happier, More Loving, Forgiving And Connected With The People Around Us.
I Spent A Lot Of Years Trying To Outrun Or Outsmart Vulnerability By Making Things Certain And Definite, Black And White, Good And Bad. My Inability To Lean Into The Discomfort Of Vulnerability Limited The Fullness Of Those Important Experiences That Are Wrought With Uncertainty: Love, Belonging, Trust, Joy, And Creativity To Name A Few.
When You Stop Caring What People Think, You Lose Your Capacity For Connection. When You're Defined By It, You Lose Our Capacity For Vulnerability.
Many People Think Of Perfectionism As Striving To Be Your Best, But It Is Not About Self-improvement; It's About Earning Approval And Acceptance.
We Use Work To Numb Out. We Can't Turn Off Our Machines Because We're Afraid We're Going To Miss Something.
I Think If You Follow Anyone Home, Whether They Live In Houston Or London, And You Sit At Their Dinner Table And Talk To Them About Their Mother Who Has Cancer Or Their Child Who Is Struggling In School, And Their Fears About Watching Their Lives Go By, I Think We're All The Same.
It's Hard To Practice Compassion When We're Struggling With Our Authenticity Or When Our Own Worthiness Is Off-balance.
When We're Looking For Compassion, We Need Someone Who Is Deeply Rooted, Is Able To Bend And, Most Of All, Embraces Us For Our Strengths And Struggles.
You're Imperfect, And You're Wired For Struggle, But You Are Worthy Of Love And Belonging.
Social Media Has Given Us This Idea That We Should All Have A Posse Of Friends When In Reality, If We Have One Or Two Really Good Friends, We Are Lucky.
Vulnerability Is Not Weakness. And That Myth Is Profoundly Dangerous.
The Intention And Outcome Of Vulnerability Is Trust, Intimacy And Connection. The Outcome Of Oversharing Is Distrust, Disconnection - And Usually A Little Judgment.
Daring To Set Boundaries Is About Having The Courage To Love Ourselves, Even When We Risk Disappointing Others.
I Think Our Capacity For Wholeheartedness Can Never Be Greater Than Our Willingness To Be Broken-hearted. It Means Engaging With The World From A Place Of Vulnerability And Worthiness.
'Crazy-busy' Is A Great Armor, It's A Great Way For Numbing. What A Lot Of Us Do Is That We Stay So Busy, And So Out In Front Of Our Life, That The Truth Of How We're Feeling And What We Really Need Can't Catch Up With Us.
For Me, The Opposite Of Scarcity Is Not Abundance. It's Enough. I'm Enough. My Kids Are Enough.
The Truth Is: Belonging Starts With Self-acceptance. Your Level Of Belonging, In Fact, Can Never Be Greater Than Your Level Of Self-acceptance, Because Believing That You're Enough Is What Gives You The Courage To Be Authentic, Vulnerable And Imperfect.
First And Foremost, We Need To Be The Adults We Want Our Children To Be. We Should Watch Our Own Gossiping And Anger. We Should Model The Kindness We Want To See.
To Me, Constructive Criticism Is When People Take Ownership Of Their Ideas. That's Why I Don't Listen To Anything That's Anonymous. But It's Hard; When There's Something Hurtful Out There, I Still Want To Read It Over And Over And Memorize It And Explain My Point Of View To The Person.
I'm Just Going To Say It: I'm Pro-guilt. Guilt Is Good. Guilt Helps Us Stay On Track Because It's About Our Behavior. It Occurs When We Compare Something We've Done - Or Failed To Do - With Our Personal Values.
Vulnerability Is The Birthplace Of Connection And The Path To The Feeling Of Worthiness. If It Doesn't Feel Vulnerable, The Sharing Is Probably Not Constructive.
I Don't Have To Chase Extraordinary Moments To Find Happiness - It's Right In Front Of Me If I'm Paying Attention And Practicing Gratitude.
Live-tweeting Your Bikini Wax Is Not Vulnerability. Nor Is Posting A Blow-by-blow Of Your Divorce . That's An Attempt To Hot-wire Connection. But You Can't Cheat Real Connection. It's Built Up Slowly. It's About Trust And Time.
What's The Greater Risk? Letting Go Of What People Think - Or Letting Go Of How I Feel, What I Believe, And Who I Am?
Maybe Stories Are Just Data With A Soul.
You Cannot Talk About Race Without Talking About Privilege. And When People Start Talking About Privilege, They Get Paralyzed By Shame.
Anonymous Comments? You're Not In The Arena, Man. If You Can't Say It To Me In Person In Front Of My Kids, Don't Say It.
I'm Like A Recovering Perfectionist. For Me It's One Day At A Time.
Faith Minus Vulnerability And Mystery Equals Extremism. If You've Got All The Answers, Then Don't Call What You Do 'Faith.'
In Many Ways, September Feels Like The Busiest Time Of The Year: The Kids Go Back To School, Work Piles Up After The Summer's Dog Days, And Thanksgiving Is Suddenly Upon Us.
The Moment Someone Asks You To Do Something You Don't Have The Time Or Inclination To Do Is Fraught With Vulnerability.
Vulnerability Is Basically Uncertainty, Risk, And Emotional Exposure.
There Is No Innovation And Creativity Without Failure. Period.
My Husband's A Pediatrician, So He And I Talk About Parenting All The Time. You Can't Raise Children Who Have More Shame Resilience Than You Do.
If You Think Dealing With Issues Like Worthiness And Authenticity And Vulnerability Are Not Worthwhile Because There Are More Pressing Issues, Like The Bottom Line Or Attendance Or Standardized Test Scores, You Are Sadly, Sadly Mistaken. It Underpins Everything.
Through My Research, I Found That Vulnerability Is The Glue That Holds Relationships Together. It's The Magic Sauce.
Shame Is The Most Powerful, Master Emotion. It's The Fear That We're Not Good Enough.
One Of The Things I Did When I Discovered This Huge Importance Of Being Vulnerable Is Very Happily Moved Away From The Shame Research, Because That's Such A Downer, And People Hate That Topic. It's Not That Vulnerability Is The Upside, But It's Better Than Shame, I Guess.
Men Walk This Tightrope Where Any Sign Of Weakness Illicits Shame, And So They're Afraid To Make Themselves Vulnerable For Fear Of Looking Weak.
The Best Marriages Are The Ones Where We Can Go Out In The World And Really Put Ourselves Out There. A Lot Of Times We'll Fail, And Sometimes We'll Pull It Off. But Good Marriages Are When You Can Go Home And Know That Your Vulnerability Will Be Honored As Courage, And That You'll Find Support.
I Carry A Small Sheet Of Paper In My Wallet That Has Written On It The Names Of People Whose Opinions Of Me Matter. To Be On That List, You Have To Love Me For My Strengths And Struggles.
We Judge People In Areas Where We're Vulnerable To Shame, Especially Picking Folks Who Are Doing Worse Than We're Doing.
Waking Up Every Day And Loving Someone Who May Or May Not Love Us Back, Whose Safety We Can't Ensure, Who May Stay In Our Lives Or May Leave Without A Moment's Notice, Who May Be Loyal To The Day They Die Or Betray Us Tomorrow - That's Vulnerability.
Vulnerability Is About Showing Up And Being Seen. It's Tough To Do That When We're Terrified About What People Might See Or Think.
I Was Raised In A Family Where Vulnerability Was Barely Tolerated: No Training Wheels On Our Bicycles, No Goggles In The Pool, Just Get It Done. And So I Grew Up Not Only With Discomfort About My Own Vulnerability, I Didn't Care For It In Other People Either.
We're Hardwired For Connection. There's No Arguing With The Bioscience. But We Can Want It So Badly We're Trying To Hot-wire It.
I Hesitate To Use A Pathologizing Label, But Underneath The So-called Narcissistic Personality Is Definitely Shame And The Paralyzing Fear Of Being Ordinary.
I Love To Take, Process And Share Photos - It Fills Me Up.
As A Vulnerability Researcher, The Greatest Barrier I See Is Our Low Tolerance For Vulnerability. We're Almost Afraid To Be Happy. We Feel Like It's Inviting Disaster.