Mark Twain Quotes And Sayings

Samuel Langhorne Clemens, better known by his pen name Mark Twain, was an American writer, humorist, entrepreneur, publisher and lecturer. Among his novels are The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and its sequel, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,the latter often called “The Great American Novel”. Twain was born shortly after a visit by Halley’s Comet, and he predicted that he would “go out with it”, too. He died the day after the comet returned. He was lauded as the “greatest American humorist of his age”, and William Faulkner called Twain “the father of American literature”.

The Secret Of Getting Ahead Is Getting Started.

Do The Thing You Fear Most And The Death Of Fear Is Certain.

A Man Is Never More Truthful Than When He Acknowledges Himself A Liar.

The Best Way To Cheer Yourself Up Is To Try To Cheer Somebody Else Up.

Don't Let Schooling Interfere With Your Education.

It Is Better To Deserve Honors And Not Have Them Than To Have Them And Not Deserve Them.

Soap And Education Are Not As Sudden As A Massacre, But They Are More Deadly In The Long Run.

The Reports Of My Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated.

Let Us Not Be Too Particular; It Is Better To Have Old Secondhand Diamonds Than None At All.

When Your Friends Begin To Flatter You On How Young You Look, It's A Sure Sign You're Getting Old.

The Christian's Bible Is A Drug Store. Its Contents Remain The Same, But The Medical Practice Changes.

My Mother Had A Great Deal Of Trouble With Me, But I Think She Enjoyed It.

Biographies Are But The Clothes And Buttons Of The Man. The Biography Of The Man Himself Cannot Be Written.

When We Remember We Are All Mad, The Mysteries Disappear And Life Stands Explained.

Suppose You Were An Idiot, And Suppose You Were A Member Of Congress; But I Repeat Myself.

Action Speaks Louder Than Words But Not Nearly As Often.

Facts Are Stubborn, But Statistics Are More Pliable.

What Is The Difference Between A Taxidermist And A Tax Collector? The Taxidermist Takes Only Your Skin.

When I Was Younger I Could Remember Anything, Whether It Happened Or Not.

Only One Thing Is Impossible For God: To Find Any Sense In Any Copyright Law On The Planet.

Prosperity Is The Best Protector Of Principle.

My Books Are Like Water; Those Of The Great Geniuses Are Wine. (Fortunately) Everybody Drinks Water.

We Have The Best Government That Money Can Buy.

Whenever You Find Yourself On The Side Of The Majority, It Is Time To Pause And Reflect.

Buy Land, They're Not Making It Anymore.

All Right, Then, I'll Go To Hell.

When You Fish For Love, Bait With Your Heart, Not Your Brain.

The More Things Are Forbidden, The More Popular They Become.

I Was Seldom Able To See An Opportunity Until It Had Ceased To Be One.

The More You Explain It, The More I Don't Understand It.

Patriot: The Person Who Can Holler The Loudest Without Knowing What He Is Hollering About.

A Man's Character May Be Learned From The Adjectives Which He Habitually Uses In Conversation.

The Most Interesting Information Comes From Children, For They Tell All They Know And Then Stop.

But Who Prays For Satan? Who, In Eighteen Centuries, Has Had The Common Humanity To Pray For The One Sinner That Needed It Most?

Part Of The Secret Of A Success In Life Is To Eat What You Like And Let The Food Fight It Out Inside.

The Difference Between The Almost Right Word And The Right Word Is Really A Large Matter - 'Tis The Difference Between The Lightning-bug And The Lightning.

The Finest Clothing Made Is A Person's Own Skin, But, Of Course, Society Demands Something More Than This.

Training Is Everything. The Peach Was Once A Bitter Almond; Cauliflower Is Nothing But Cabbage With A College Education.

Substitute 'Damn' Every Time You're Inclined To Write 'Very'; Your Editor Will Delete It And The Writing Will Be Just As It Should Be.

I Came In With Halley's Comet In 1835. It Is Coming Again Next Year, And I Expect To Go Out With It. It Will Be The Greatest Disappointment Of My Life If I Don't Go Out With Halley's Comet. The Almighty Has Said, No Doubt: 'Now Here Are These Two Unaccountable Freaks; They Came In Together, They Must Go Out Together.'

A Person Who Won't Read Has No Advantage Over One Who Can't Read.

One Of The Most Striking Differences Between A Cat And A Lie Is That A Cat Has Only Nine Lives.

Drag Your Thoughts Away From Your Troubles... By The Ears, By The Heels, Or Any Other Way You Can Manage It.

Principles Have No Real Force Except When One Is Well-fed.

Thousands Of Geniuses Live And Die Undiscovered - Either By Themselves Or By Others.

The Lack Of Money Is The Root Of All Evil.

Thunder Is Good, Thunder Is Impressive; But It Is Lightning That Does The Work.

I Am An Old Man And Have Known A Great Many Troubles, But Most Of Them Never Happened.

If Man Could Be Crossed With The Cat It Would Improve Man, But Deteriorate The Cat.

Laws Control The Lesser Man... Right Conduct Controls The Greater One.