Mark Twain Quotes And Sayings

All Generalizations Are False, Including This One.

The Wit Knows That His Place Is At The Tail Of A Procession.

Education Consists Mainly Of What We Have Unlearned.

Fiction Is Obliged To Stick To Possibilities. Truth Isn't.

It Is By The Goodness Of God That In Our Country We Have Those Three Unspeakably Precious Things: Freedom Of Speech, Freedom Of Conscience, And The Prudence Never To Practice Either Of Them.

The Public Is Merely A Multiplied 'Me.'

I Never Let Schooling Interfere With My Education.

There Is No Distinctly American Criminal Class - Except Congress.

Few Of Us Can Stand Prosperity. Another Man's, I Mean.

Truth Is Mighty And Will Prevail. There Is Nothing Wrong With This, Except That It Ain't So.

I Can Live For Two Months On A Good Compliment.

Get Your Facts First, Then You Can Distort Them As You Please.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt - And Children.

Man Is The Only Animal That Blushes - Or Needs To.

Often It Does Seem Such A Pity That Noah And His Party Did Not Miss The Boat.

If You Hold A Cat By The Tail You Learn Things You Cannot Learn Any Other Way.

We Americans... Bear The Ark Of Liberties Of The World.

There Are Times When One Would Like To Hang The Whole Human Race, And Finish The Farce.

Ideally A Book Would Have No Order To It, And The Reader Would Have To Discover His Own.

To Be Good Is Noble; But To Show Others How To Be Good Is Nobler And No Trouble.

It Is Easier To Stay Out Than Get Out.

Humor Is Mankind's Greatest Blessing.

We Are All Alike, On The Inside.

Better A Broken Promise Than None At All.

By Trying We Can Easily Learn To Endure Adversity. Another Man's, I Mean.

There Is No Sadder Sight Than A Young Pessimist.

The Very Ink With Which History Is Written Is Merely Fluid Prejudice.

Forgiveness Is The Fragrance That The Violet Sheds On The Heel That Has Crushed It.

The Human Race Has One Really Effective Weapon, And That Is Laughter.

There Are Basically Two Types Of People. People Who Accomplish Things, And People Who Claim To Have Accomplished Things. The First Group Is Less Crowded.

Go To Heaven For The Climate, Hell For The Company.

If It's Your Job To Eat A Frog, It's Best To Do It First Thing In The Morning. And If It's Your Job To Eat Two Frogs, It's Best To Eat The Biggest One First.

Good Friends, Good Books And A Sleepy Conscience: This Is The Ideal Life.

A Man Who Carries A Cat By The Tail Learns Something He Can Learn In No Other Way.

She Was Not Quite What You Would Call Refined. She Was Not Quite What You Would Call Unrefined. She Was The Kind Of Person That Keeps A Parrot.

It Ain't What You Don't Know That Gets You Into Trouble. It's What You Know For Sure That Just Ain't So.

The Right Word May Be Effective, But No Word Was Ever As Effective As A Rightly Timed Pause.

Denial Ain't Just A River In Egypt.

Many A Small Thing Has Been Made Large By The Right Kind Of Advertising.

It's Not The Size Of The Dog In The Fight, It's The Size Of The Fight In The Dog.

Patriotism Is Supporting Your Country All The Time, And Your Government When It Deserves It.

A Man Cannot Be Comfortable Without His Own Approval.

Apparently There Is Nothing That Cannot Happen Today.

Kindness Is The Language Which The Deaf Can Hear And The Blind Can See.

I Didn't Attend The Funeral, But I Sent A Nice Letter Saying I Approved Of It.

Don't Go Around Saying The World Owes You A Living. The World Owes You Nothing. It Was Here First.

Lord Save Us All From Old Age And Broken Health And A Hope Tree That Has Lost The Faculty Of Putting Out Blossoms.

Prophesy Is A Good Line Of Business, But It Is Full Of Risks.

The Man Who Does Not Read Good Books Has No Advantage Over The Man Who Cannot Read Them.

Let Us Endeavor So To Live So That When We Come To Die Even The Undertaker Will Be Sorry.