Karl Pilkington Quotes And Sayings

Karl Pilkington is an English television presenter, author, comedian, actor and radio producer. He gained prominence as the producer of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant’s radio programme on XFM. Pilkington is a co-founder, along with Gervais and Merchant, of RiSK Productions, a television production company. Pilkington currently stars in the Sky 1 travel documentary comedy series The Moaning of Life. This is his first show to not have any involvement from either Gervais or Merchant.

I've Learnt That, Even Though I've Travelled About, I Haven't Changed That Much.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (12) - I've Learnt That, Even Though I've ... - QuotesI've Learnt That, Even Though I've Travelled About, I Haven't Changed That Much.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (12) - I've Learnt That, Even Though I've ... - Quotes

At The End Of The Day, Teachers Aren't Going To Mess About Trying To Make Me Into An Einstein, 'Cause It Was Never Gonna Happen. We Can't All Be Brainy, Can We? That's Just The Way The World Is.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (10) - At The End Of The Day, Teachers Are... - QuotesAt The End Of The Day, Teachers Aren't Going To Mess About Trying To Make Me Into An Einstein, 'Cause It Was Never Gonna Happen. We Can't All Be Brainy, Can We? That's Just The Way The World Is.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (10) - At The End Of The Day, Teachers Are... - Quotes

People Eat Duck And You Think, Well, We've Got Loads Of Chickens, Leave The Ducks Alone!

Karl Pilkington Quotes (13) - People Eat Duck And You Think, Well... - QuotesPeople Eat Duck And You Think, Well, We've Got Loads Of Chickens, Leave The Ducks Alone!

Karl Pilkington Quotes (13) - People Eat Duck And You Think, Well... - Quotes

The Poorer People And Criminals Of Mexico Who Are Not Very Religious But Not Quite Atheists, Either, Worship Saint Death.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (11) - The Poorer People And Criminals Of ... - QuotesThe Poorer People And Criminals Of Mexico Who Are Not Very Religious But Not Quite Atheists, Either, Worship Saint Death.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (11) - The Poorer People And Criminals Of ... - Quotes

I Sometimes Wonder How We're Short Of Cod. There's Gonna Be A Load Deep Down That Are Hiding. But It's A Good Reason To Put The Price Up, And It Means A Load Of People Will Have Haddock. They Should Tell People They're Running Out Of All Sorts. Make 'Em Panic A Bit.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (1) - I Sometimes Wonder How We're Short O... - QuotesI Sometimes Wonder How We're Short Of Cod. There's Gonna Be A Load Deep Down That Are Hiding. But It's A Good Reason To Put The Price Up, And It Means A Load Of People Will Have Haddock. They Should Tell People They're Running Out Of All Sorts. Make 'Em Panic A Bit.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (1) - I Sometimes Wonder How We're Short O... - Quotes

I'd Rather Live In A Cave With A View Of A Palace Than Live In A Palace With A View Of A Cave.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (14) - I'd Rather Live In A Cave With A Vi... - QuotesI'd Rather Live In A Cave With A View Of A Palace Than Live In A Palace With A View Of A Cave.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (14) - I'd Rather Live In A Cave With A Vi... - Quotes

Being Honest With You, It's Not The 'Great' Wall Of China. It's An All Right Wall. It's The 'All Right Wall Of China.'

Karl Pilkington Quotes (16) - Being Honest With You, It's Not The... - QuotesBeing Honest With You, It's Not The 'Great' Wall Of China. It's An All Right Wall. It's The 'All Right Wall Of China.'

Karl Pilkington Quotes (16) - Being Honest With You, It's Not The... - Quotes

A Slug Is Always On Its Own. It's A Lonely Insect.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (18) - A Slug Is Always On Its Own. It's A... - QuotesA Slug Is Always On Its Own. It's A Lonely Insect.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (18) - A Slug Is Always On Its Own. It's A... - Quotes

I've Done Some Luxury Flying, Which Is Brilliant. It Has Only Happened Once Or Twice, But It Was Nice Because Flying Is The Worst Part Of The Holiday. But Then Again, If The Plane Crashes, You're Still Dead. For That Much Money I'd Want A Little Capsule That Whizzed Me Off To Safety If It Was Going To Crash.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (15) - I've Done Some Luxury Flying, Which... - QuotesI've Done Some Luxury Flying, Which Is Brilliant. It Has Only Happened Once Or Twice, But It Was Nice Because Flying Is The Worst Part Of The Holiday. But Then Again, If The Plane Crashes, You're Still Dead. For That Much Money I'd Want A Little Capsule That Whizzed Me Off To Safety If It Was Going To Crash.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (15) - I've Done Some Luxury Flying, Which... - Quotes

You Can Only Live To Be So Old, Then You Gotta Let Go.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (17) - You Can Only Live To Be So Old, The... - QuotesYou Can Only Live To Be So Old, Then You Gotta Let Go.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (17) - You Can Only Live To Be So Old, The... - Quotes

I've Got Loads Of Nieces And Nephews.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (20) - I've Got Loads Of Nieces And Nephew... - QuotesI've Got Loads Of Nieces And Nephews.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (20) - I've Got Loads Of Nieces And Nephew... - Quotes

People Who Live In A Glass House Have To Answer The Door.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (19) - People Who Live In A Glass House Ha... - QuotesPeople Who Live In A Glass House Have To Answer The Door.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (19) - People Who Live In A Glass House Ha... - Quotes

The Reason I Did The Book About Holidays Is That You're A Different Person On Holiday. You're Sleeping Somewhere Unfamiliar, Knocking About With People You've Never Met And For 10 Days You're Someone Else. You're Out Of Your Comfortable Zone.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (22) - The Reason I Did The Book About Hol... - QuotesThe Reason I Did The Book About Holidays Is That You're A Different Person On Holiday. You're Sleeping Somewhere Unfamiliar, Knocking About With People You've Never Met And For 10 Days You're Someone Else. You're Out Of Your Comfortable Zone.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (22) - The Reason I Did The Book About Hol... - Quotes

I Am Into Nature And Seeing Whales. I Went Whale-watching, And I Was Really Looking Forward To That, But When You See It On Tv And You See Other Programs Do It, You're Seeing Close-ups Of These Massive Creatures, And The Music That's Added Gives You A Certain Feeling.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (21) - I Am Into Nature And Seeing Whales.... - QuotesI Am Into Nature And Seeing Whales. I Went Whale-watching, And I Was Really Looking Forward To That, But When You See It On Tv And You See Other Programs Do It, You're Seeing Close-ups Of These Massive Creatures, And The Music That's Added Gives You A Certain Feeling.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (21) - I Am Into Nature And Seeing Whales.... - Quotes

I'm Not That Lazy, But I Don't Need That Much Money. I Lead A Fairly Simple Life.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (2) - I'm Not That Lazy, But I Don't Need ... - QuotesI'm Not That Lazy, But I Don't Need That Much Money. I Lead A Fairly Simple Life.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (2) - I'm Not That Lazy, But I Don't Need ... - Quotes

I'd Say The Best Is When I Was In Africa, I Saw A Hippo In A House. Someone Had A Pet Hippo. And They're Meant To Be One Of The Most Dangerous Animals On The Planet, And They Had One That Was Sort Of Just Wandering In And Out Of Their House, Just Sort Of Roaming About.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (23) - I'd Say The Best Is When I Was In A... - QuotesI'd Say The Best Is When I Was In Africa, I Saw A Hippo In A House. Someone Had A Pet Hippo. And They're Meant To Be One Of The Most Dangerous Animals On The Planet, And They Had One That Was Sort Of Just Wandering In And Out Of Their House, Just Sort Of Roaming About.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (23) - I'd Say The Best Is When I Was In A... - Quotes

When I Go On Holiday And People Ask Me What I Do, I Tell Them I Do Some Internet Stuff And I've Done A Couple Of Books And I Hope They Just Leave It At That.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (24) - When I Go On Holiday And People Ask... - QuotesWhen I Go On Holiday And People Ask Me What I Do, I Tell Them I Do Some Internet Stuff And I've Done A Couple Of Books And I Hope They Just Leave It At That.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (24) - When I Go On Holiday And People Ask... - Quotes

The Other Day I Was Thinking - Because I Get A Lot Of Headaches - I Was Wondering Whether The Head Should Be Where It Is. Because, At The End Of The Day, It's Probably The Heaviest Part Of Your Body, Right? And Yet It's At The Top As Opposed To, I Don't, Dangling At The Bottom Somewhere.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (27) - The Other Day I Was Thinking - Beca... - QuotesThe Other Day I Was Thinking - Because I Get A Lot Of Headaches - I Was Wondering Whether The Head Should Be Where It Is. Because, At The End Of The Day, It's Probably The Heaviest Part Of Your Body, Right? And Yet It's At The Top As Opposed To, I Don't, Dangling At The Bottom Somewhere.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (27) - The Other Day I Was Thinking - Beca... - Quotes

I Really Can't Believe What A State The Pyramids Are In. I Thought They Had Flat Rendered Sides, But When You Get Up Close, You See How They Are Just Giant Boulders Balanced On Top Of Each Other, Like A Massive Game Of Jenga That Has Got Out Of Hand.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (26) - I Really Can't Believe What A State... - QuotesI Really Can't Believe What A State The Pyramids Are In. I Thought They Had Flat Rendered Sides, But When You Get Up Close, You See How They Are Just Giant Boulders Balanced On Top Of Each Other, Like A Massive Game Of Jenga That Has Got Out Of Hand.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (26) - I Really Can't Believe What A State... - Quotes

I Say Have The Night And Give People The Awards, But Why Do People Want To Watch People Win Awards? What Are They Getting Out Of It? I Don't Quite Get It. Because They Have Awards All The Time; There's Awards For Butchers, The Best Meat Served, But They Don't Televise It. I Don't Know Why They Do It For Films Or Tv Programs.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (25) - I Say Have The Night And Give Peopl... - QuotesI Say Have The Night And Give People The Awards, But Why Do People Want To Watch People Win Awards? What Are They Getting Out Of It? I Don't Quite Get It. Because They Have Awards All The Time; There's Awards For Butchers, The Best Meat Served, But They Don't Televise It. I Don't Know Why They Do It For Films Or Tv Programs.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (25) - I Say Have The Night And Give Peopl... - Quotes

Parrots Have Gone A Bit Quiet Since Pirates Have Gone.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (29) - Parrots Have Gone A Bit Quiet Since... - QuotesParrots Have Gone A Bit Quiet Since Pirates Have Gone.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (29) - Parrots Have Gone A Bit Quiet Since... - Quotes

It Would Be Spiteful To Put A Jellyfish In A Trifle.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (3) - It Would Be Spiteful To Put A Jellyf... - QuotesIt Would Be Spiteful To Put A Jellyfish In A Trifle.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (3) - It Would Be Spiteful To Put A Jellyf... - Quotes

If You Sit In A Bath Of Pineapple Chunks, It Can Kill You. That's Well Documented.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (30) - If You Sit In A Bath Of Pineapple C... - QuotesIf You Sit In A Bath Of Pineapple Chunks, It Can Kill You. That's Well Documented.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (30) - If You Sit In A Bath Of Pineapple C... - Quotes

I Think It's Mental To Pay For Water. Where Is That Water Coming From? Are They In The Hills Puttin' It Into Bottles When Years Ago It Used To Roll Down And Go Into The Lakes?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (28) - I Think It's Mental To Pay For Wate... - QuotesI Think It's Mental To Pay For Water. Where Is That Water Coming From? Are They In The Hills Puttin' It Into Bottles When Years Ago It Used To Roll Down And Go Into The Lakes?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (28) - I Think It's Mental To Pay For Wate... - Quotes

For Me, A Good Holiday Is About Value For Money Rather Than Things To See.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (31) - For Me, A Good Holiday Is About Val... - QuotesFor Me, A Good Holiday Is About Value For Money Rather Than Things To See.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (31) - For Me, A Good Holiday Is About Val... - Quotes

It's Not Easy Keeping A Diary. You Have To Be Pretty Committed.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (32) - It's Not Easy Keeping A Diary. You ... - QuotesIt's Not Easy Keeping A Diary. You Have To Be Pretty Committed.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (32) - It's Not Easy Keeping A Diary. You ... - Quotes

People Say If Bees Die Out, The World Would End, Apparently. Now, I Don't Know If That's True, If That's Some Bee Enthusiast Who Managed To Write A Good Document, And People Believe This.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (35) - People Say If Bees Die Out, The Wor... - QuotesPeople Say If Bees Die Out, The World Would End, Apparently. Now, I Don't Know If That's True, If That's Some Bee Enthusiast Who Managed To Write A Good Document, And People Believe This.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (35) - People Say If Bees Die Out, The Wor... - Quotes

Getting Old Is Better Than Being Young. You Can Do What You Want To Do.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (36) - Getting Old Is Better Than Being Yo... - QuotesGetting Old Is Better Than Being Young. You Can Do What You Want To Do.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (36) - Getting Old Is Better Than Being Yo... - Quotes

I Love Nature - It's Probably My Most Favorite Thing. I Don't Watch Much Telly, The Telly Hardly Goes On, But The Things I Do Watch Are Sort Of Nature Programs, And Something About The Oceans And The Amount Of Weird Fish That's In There.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (33) - I Love Nature - It's Probably My Mo... - QuotesI Love Nature - It's Probably My Most Favorite Thing. I Don't Watch Much Telly, The Telly Hardly Goes On, But The Things I Do Watch Are Sort Of Nature Programs, And Something About The Oceans And The Amount Of Weird Fish That's In There.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (33) - I Love Nature - It's Probably My Mo... - Quotes

We'll All Die Out Eventually. Humans Will Be Gone. And All I'm Saying Is, When People Worry About Polar Bears Disappearing Or Whatever, It's Like, 'Well That's Life, Things Will Come And Go, We'll Find New Species.'

Karl Pilkington Quotes (34) - We'll All Die Out Eventually. Human... - QuotesWe'll All Die Out Eventually. Humans Will Be Gone. And All I'm Saying Is, When People Worry About Polar Bears Disappearing Or Whatever, It's Like, 'Well That's Life, Things Will Come And Go, We'll Find New Species.'

Karl Pilkington Quotes (34) - We'll All Die Out Eventually. Human... - Quotes

With Evolution, Things Are Always Changing, So I Sort Of Think: Should We All Be Growing Three Heads?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (38) - With Evolution, Things Are Always C... - QuotesWith Evolution, Things Are Always Changing, So I Sort Of Think: Should We All Be Growing Three Heads?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (38) - With Evolution, Things Are Always C... - Quotes

I Drive A Car, Like An Adult. Not Brilliantly. I'm Not Great.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (40) - I Drive A Car, Like An Adult. Not B... - QuotesI Drive A Car, Like An Adult. Not Brilliantly. I'm Not Great.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (40) - I Drive A Car, Like An Adult. Not B... - Quotes

I've Never Understood The 'Things To Do Before You Die' Idea. If I Was Ill, I'd Be In No Mood To Have A Swim With A Dolphin.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (39) - I've Never Understood The 'Things T... - QuotesI've Never Understood The 'Things To Do Before You Die' Idea. If I Was Ill, I'd Be In No Mood To Have A Swim With A Dolphin.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (39) - I've Never Understood The 'Things T... - Quotes

Everyone Is Living For Everyone Else Now. They're Doing Stuff So They Can Tell Other People About It. I Don't Get All That Social Media Stuff, I've Always Got Other Things I Want To Do - Odd Jobs Around The House. No One Wants To Hear About That.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (37) - Everyone Is Living For Everyone Els... - QuotesEveryone Is Living For Everyone Else Now. They're Doing Stuff So They Can Tell Other People About It. I Don't Get All That Social Media Stuff, I've Always Got Other Things I Want To Do - Odd Jobs Around The House. No One Wants To Hear About That.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (37) - Everyone Is Living For Everyone Els... - Quotes

They Say It All Started Out With A Big Bang. But, What I Wonder Is, Was It A Big Bang Or Did It Just Seem Big Because There Wasn't Anything Else Drown It Out At The Time?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (4) - They Say It All Started Out With A B... - QuotesThey Say It All Started Out With A Big Bang. But, What I Wonder Is, Was It A Big Bang Or Did It Just Seem Big Because There Wasn't Anything Else Drown It Out At The Time?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (4) - They Say It All Started Out With A B... - Quotes

I've Never Worried About Life's Big Questions.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (41) - I've Never Worried About Life's Big... - QuotesI've Never Worried About Life's Big Questions.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (41) - I've Never Worried About Life's Big... - Quotes

I'm Not A Proper Traveler. I Don't Like To Be Challenged Or Have Too Much Of A Change And Prefer A Week Away Just To Relax.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (43) - I'm Not A Proper Traveler. I Don't ... - QuotesI'm Not A Proper Traveler. I Don't Like To Be Challenged Or Have Too Much Of A Change And Prefer A Week Away Just To Relax.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (43) - I'm Not A Proper Traveler. I Don't ... - Quotes

I Don't Know Any Londoners 'Cos I'm From Manchester.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (45) - I Don't Know Any Londoners 'Cos I'm... - QuotesI Don't Know Any Londoners 'Cos I'm From Manchester.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (45) - I Don't Know Any Londoners 'Cos I'm... - Quotes

If You'd Have Told Me Five Years Ago That I'd Have Done All This - Two Books, Some Television And Everything - I'd Panic, I'd Be Scared.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (42) - If You'd Have Told Me Five Years Ag... - QuotesIf You'd Have Told Me Five Years Ago That I'd Have Done All This - Two Books, Some Television And Everything - I'd Panic, I'd Be Scared.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (42) - If You'd Have Told Me Five Years Ag... - Quotes

If You Go Away With, You Know, A Girlfriend, Wife, Whatever, You Have An Argument On Holiday Because You're Not Used To Spending That Much Time With People.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (44) - If You Go Away With, You Know, A Gi... - QuotesIf You Go Away With, You Know, A Girlfriend, Wife, Whatever, You Have An Argument On Holiday Because You're Not Used To Spending That Much Time With People.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (44) - If You Go Away With, You Know, A Gi... - Quotes

I Just Sort Of Go Along And Say What I Think -And That's All You Can Do In Life, Really.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (46) - I Just Sort Of Go Along And Say Wha... - QuotesI Just Sort Of Go Along And Say What I Think -And That's All You Can Do In Life, Really.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (46) - I Just Sort Of Go Along And Say Wha... - Quotes

To Me, A Cat Is An Easy Pet, They Don't Need Any Spoiling Or Looking After.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (47) - To Me, A Cat Is An Easy Pet, They D... - QuotesTo Me, A Cat Is An Easy Pet, They Don't Need Any Spoiling Or Looking After.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (47) - To Me, A Cat Is An Easy Pet, They D... - Quotes

That's The Problem With Having A Bald Head. It Exaggerates The Shape.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (48) - That's The Problem With Having A Ba... - QuotesThat's The Problem With Having A Bald Head. It Exaggerates The Shape.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (48) - That's The Problem With Having A Ba... - Quotes

Sometimes You Can Know Too Much. A Lot Of Brainy People Like Stephen Fry Are Quite Depressive.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (49) - Sometimes You Can Know Too Much. A ... - QuotesSometimes You Can Know Too Much. A Lot Of Brainy People Like Stephen Fry Are Quite Depressive.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (49) - Sometimes You Can Know Too Much. A ... - Quotes

When You've Been On A Programme Called 'An Idiot Abroad' Job Offers Aren't Exactly Flying In.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (5) - When You've Been On A Programme Call... - QuotesWhen You've Been On A Programme Called 'An Idiot Abroad' Job Offers Aren't Exactly Flying In.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (5) - When You've Been On A Programme Call... - Quotes

It's Like There's Some Unwritten Rule That If You're Mates, You Can Say What You Want To Each Other, And You Don't Really Get That Annoyed About It.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (50) - It's Like There's Some Unwritten Ru... - QuotesIt's Like There's Some Unwritten Rule That If You're Mates, You Can Say What You Want To Each Other, And You Don't Really Get That Annoyed About It.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (50) - It's Like There's Some Unwritten Ru... - Quotes

I've Never Thought About It Before, But I Suppose Bad People Might Need Someone To Pray To, Too.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (51) - I've Never Thought About It Before,... - QuotesI've Never Thought About It Before, But I Suppose Bad People Might Need Someone To Pray To, Too.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (51) - I've Never Thought About It Before,... - Quotes

Who'd Have Thought The Frisbee Would Have Caught On?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (52) - Who'd Have Thought The Frisbee Woul... - QuotesWho'd Have Thought The Frisbee Would Have Caught On?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (52) - Who'd Have Thought The Frisbee Woul... - Quotes

People Always Tell Me I'm Going To Regret Not Having Kids. But What If I Have One And Then I Regret Having It? Has Anyone Thought Of That Option?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (54) - People Always Tell Me I'm Going To ... - QuotesPeople Always Tell Me I'm Going To Regret Not Having Kids. But What If I Have One And Then I Regret Having It? Has Anyone Thought Of That Option?

Karl Pilkington Quotes (54) - People Always Tell Me I'm Going To ... - Quotes

I Was Impressed By The Taj Mahal. A Good Bit Of Work, Well Looked After, Worth Paying Money To See.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (53) - I Was Impressed By The Taj Mahal. A... - QuotesI Was Impressed By The Taj Mahal. A Good Bit Of Work, Well Looked After, Worth Paying Money To See.

Karl Pilkington Quotes (53) - I Was Impressed By The Taj Mahal. A... - Quotes