P. J. O'Rourke Quotes And Sayings

The Clinton Administration Launched An Attack On People In Texas Because Those People Were Religious Nuts With Guns. Hell, This Country Was Founded By Religious Nuts With Guns. Who Does Bill Clinton Think Stepped Ashore On Plymouth Rock?

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (37) - The Clinton Administration Launched ... - QuotesThe Clinton Administration Launched An Attack On People In Texas Because Those People Were Religious Nuts With Guns. Hell, This Country Was Founded By Religious Nuts With Guns. Who Does Bill Clinton Think Stepped Ashore On Plymouth Rock?

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (37) - The Clinton Administration Launched ... - Quotes

China Is Trying To Become America Without Democracy While America Is Trying To Become France Without Cheese Calories.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (370) - China Is Trying To Become America W... - QuotesChina Is Trying To Become America Without Democracy While America Is Trying To Become France Without Cheese Calories.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (370) - China Is Trying To Become America W... - Quotes

President Obama Has Contempt For Real Money.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (371) - President Obama Has Contempt For Re... - QuotesPresident Obama Has Contempt For Real Money.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (371) - President Obama Has Contempt For Re... - Quotes

Obama, In Pursuit Of Power, Has Been As Greedy And Irresponsible As Any Wall Street Tycoon In Pursuit Of Money.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (372) - Obama, In Pursuit Of Power, Has Bee... - QuotesObama, In Pursuit Of Power, Has Been As Greedy And Irresponsible As Any Wall Street Tycoon In Pursuit Of Money.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (372) - Obama, In Pursuit Of Power, Has Bee... - Quotes

For Decades In America, There Has Been An Effort To Ensure That The Rights Of Those Who Are Not Sane Are The Same As The Rights Of Those Who Are.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (373) - For Decades In America, There Has B... - QuotesFor Decades In America, There Has Been An Effort To Ensure That The Rights Of Those Who Are Not Sane Are The Same As The Rights Of Those Who Are.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (373) - For Decades In America, There Has B... - Quotes

Democrats Hate Success.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (376) - Democrats Hate Success.... - QuotesDemocrats Hate Success.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (376) - Democrats Hate Success.... - Quotes

Democrats Hate Democrats Most Of All.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (375) - Democrats Hate Democrats Most Of Al... - QuotesDemocrats Hate Democrats Most Of All.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (375) - Democrats Hate Democrats Most Of Al... - Quotes

In A Free Country, Government Is A Dull And Onerous Responsibility. It Is A Parent-teacher Conference.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (374) - In A Free Country, Government Is A ... - QuotesIn A Free Country, Government Is A Dull And Onerous Responsibility. It Is A Parent-teacher Conference.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (374) - In A Free Country, Government Is A ... - Quotes

The Average Iq In America Is - And This Can Be Proven Mathematically - Average.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (377) - The Average Iq In America Is - And ... - QuotesThe Average Iq In America Is - And This Can Be Proven Mathematically - Average.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (377) - The Average Iq In America Is - And ... - Quotes

America's Public Schools Have Served Their Purpose. Free And Compulsory Education Was Good For A Somewhat Unpromising Young Nation.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (378) - America's Public Schools Have Serve... - QuotesAmerica's Public Schools Have Served Their Purpose. Free And Compulsory Education Was Good For A Somewhat Unpromising Young Nation.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (378) - America's Public Schools Have Serve... - Quotes

Nancy Pelosi Says The Angry Opposition To Health Care Reform Is Like The Angry Opposition To Gay Rights That Led To Harvey Milk Being Shot.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (379) - Nancy Pelosi Says The Angry Opposit... - QuotesNancy Pelosi Says The Angry Opposition To Health Care Reform Is Like The Angry Opposition To Gay Rights That Led To Harvey Milk Being Shot.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (379) - Nancy Pelosi Says The Angry Opposit... - Quotes

I Have Never Twittered Or Tweeted Or Even Chirped.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (381) - I Have Never Twittered Or Tweeted O... - QuotesI Have Never Twittered Or Tweeted Or Even Chirped.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (381) - I Have Never Twittered Or Tweeted O... - Quotes

If Government Were A Product, Selling It Would Be Illegal.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (38) - If Government Were A Product, Sellin... - QuotesIf Government Were A Product, Selling It Would Be Illegal.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (38) - If Government Were A Product, Sellin... - Quotes

I Understand Twitter Has Become Popular Among Politicians. This Technology Allows Them To Stay In Perpetual Contact With Their Constituents. The Electorate Now Has Instant Information About What Politicians Have Been Up To.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (382) - I Understand Twitter Has Become Pop... - QuotesI Understand Twitter Has Become Popular Among Politicians. This Technology Allows Them To Stay In Perpetual Contact With Their Constituents. The Electorate Now Has Instant Information About What Politicians Have Been Up To.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (382) - I Understand Twitter Has Become Pop... - Quotes

I Live In Rural New Hampshire, And We Are, Frankly, Short On People Who Are Black, Gay, Jewish, And Hispanic. In Fact, We're Short On People. My Town Has A Population Of 301.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (380) - I Live In Rural New Hampshire, And ... - QuotesI Live In Rural New Hampshire, And We Are, Frankly, Short On People Who Are Black, Gay, Jewish, And Hispanic. In Fact, We're Short On People. My Town Has A Population Of 301.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (380) - I Live In Rural New Hampshire, And ... - Quotes

Mistreatment Of Al Qaeda Members And Their Friends And Hangers-on Is Something I Number Among My Moral Concerns. But It's Number 1,000,000,001.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (383) - Mistreatment Of Al Qaeda Members An... - QuotesMistreatment Of Al Qaeda Members And Their Friends And Hangers-on Is Something I Number Among My Moral Concerns. But It's Number 1,000,000,001.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (383) - Mistreatment Of Al Qaeda Members An... - Quotes

I Don't Mind America Becoming A Third World Country. The Weather Is Better In The Third World Than It Is Where I Live In New Hampshire. And Household Help Will Be Much Cheaper.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (384) - I Don't Mind America Becoming A Thi... - QuotesI Don't Mind America Becoming A Third World Country. The Weather Is Better In The Third World Than It Is Where I Live In New Hampshire. And Household Help Will Be Much Cheaper.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (384) - I Don't Mind America Becoming A Thi... - Quotes

The Afghans Themselves Say That If You Put Two Afghans In A Room, You Get Three Factions.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (385) - The Afghans Themselves Say That If ... - QuotesThe Afghans Themselves Say That If You Put Two Afghans In A Room, You Get Three Factions.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (385) - The Afghans Themselves Say That If ... - Quotes

The Killjoys Initiated Automobile Crash Standards So Rigorous That We Can't Buy A Car That Hasn't Been Dropped From The Top Of A Phone Pole With Our Whole Family Strapped Inside.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (386) - The Killjoys Initiated Automobile C... - QuotesThe Killjoys Initiated Automobile Crash Standards So Rigorous That We Can't Buy A Car That Hasn't Been Dropped From The Top Of A Phone Pole With Our Whole Family Strapped Inside.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (386) - The Killjoys Initiated Automobile C... - Quotes

Network Television Has Been Attempting To Lure Viewers For Years With Its Low-interest Programming Only To Have Those Viewers Discover Later That Their Brains Are Bankrupt.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (387) - Network Television Has Been Attempt... - QuotesNetwork Television Has Been Attempting To Lure Viewers For Years With Its Low-interest Programming Only To Have Those Viewers Discover Later That Their Brains Are Bankrupt.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (387) - Network Television Has Been Attempt... - Quotes

I Look Around My House, And Everything Except The Kids And Dogs Was Made In China. And I'm Not Sure About The Kids. They Have Brown Eyes And Small Noses.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (388) - I Look Around My House, And Everyth... - QuotesI Look Around My House, And Everything Except The Kids And Dogs Was Made In China. And I'm Not Sure About The Kids. They Have Brown Eyes And Small Noses.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (388) - I Look Around My House, And Everyth... - Quotes

Never Be Unfaithful To A Lover, Except With Your Wife.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (39) - Never Be Unfaithful To A Lover, Exce... - QuotesNever Be Unfaithful To A Lover, Except With Your Wife.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (39) - Never Be Unfaithful To A Lover, Exce... - Quotes

If You Want To Join The Republican Party, They Have To Let You In. There's Nothing They Can Do About It. I Mean, If Republicans Will Take Al D'amato, They'll Take Anybody.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (390) - If You Want To Join The Republican ... - QuotesIf You Want To Join The Republican Party, They Have To Let You In. There's Nothing They Can Do About It. I Mean, If Republicans Will Take Al D'amato, They'll Take Anybody.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (390) - If You Want To Join The Republican ... - Quotes

Affirmative Action Makes Employers Think, 'Black Woman Nuclear Physicist? Hah! Probably Let Her Into Harvard 'Cause They Were Looking For A Twofer. Bet She Got C's In High School Practical Math. Give Her A Job In Personnel.'

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (389) - Affirmative Action Makes Employers ... - QuotesAffirmative Action Makes Employers Think, 'Black Woman Nuclear Physicist? Hah! Probably Let Her Into Harvard 'Cause They Were Looking For A Twofer. Bet She Got C's In High School Practical Math. Give Her A Job In Personnel.'

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (389) - Affirmative Action Makes Employers ... - Quotes

The Real Purpose Of Welfare Is To Get Rid Of Poor People Entirely. Everybody Knows Welfare Has Bad Effects; That's The Point.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (391) - The Real Purpose Of Welfare Is To G... - QuotesThe Real Purpose Of Welfare Is To Get Rid Of Poor People Entirely. Everybody Knows Welfare Has Bad Effects; That's The Point.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (391) - The Real Purpose Of Welfare Is To G... - Quotes

Liberals Want To Live Downtown. All Over America - In New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - There Are Crowds Of Liberals Living In The Gritty, Ugly, Dirty Neighborhoods Sensible People Are Trying To Flee.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (392) - Liberals Want To Live Downtown. All... - QuotesLiberals Want To Live Downtown. All Over America - In New York, San Francisco, Chicago, Georgetown - There Are Crowds Of Liberals Living In The Gritty, Ugly, Dirty Neighborhoods Sensible People Are Trying To Flee.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (392) - Liberals Want To Live Downtown. All... - Quotes

Mikhail Gorbachev Was The Jimmy Carter Of The Communist Bloc. The Russians Hate Him.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (393) - Mikhail Gorbachev Was The Jimmy Car... - QuotesMikhail Gorbachev Was The Jimmy Carter Of The Communist Bloc. The Russians Hate Him.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (393) - Mikhail Gorbachev Was The Jimmy Car... - Quotes

There Is No Horizon In Toledo. There Are Too Many Trees.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (396) - There Is No Horizon In Toledo. Ther... - QuotesThere Is No Horizon In Toledo. There Are Too Many Trees.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (396) - There Is No Horizon In Toledo. Ther... - Quotes

We Journalists Don't Have To Step On Roaches. All We Have To Do Is Turn On The Kitchen Light And Watch The Critters Scutter.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (395) - We Journalists Don't Have To Step O... - QuotesWe Journalists Don't Have To Step On Roaches. All We Have To Do Is Turn On The Kitchen Light And Watch The Critters Scutter.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (395) - We Journalists Don't Have To Step O... - Quotes

Detroit Is Beautiful - Though You Probably Have To Be A Child Of The Industrial Midwest, Like Me, To See It.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (394) - Detroit Is Beautiful - Though You P... - QuotesDetroit Is Beautiful - Though You Probably Have To Be A Child Of The Industrial Midwest, Like Me, To See It.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (394) - Detroit Is Beautiful - Though You P... - Quotes

I Usually Agree With Rush Limbaugh; Therefore I Usually Don't Listen To Him.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (397) - I Usually Agree With Rush Limbaugh;... - QuotesI Usually Agree With Rush Limbaugh; Therefore I Usually Don't Listen To Him.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (397) - I Usually Agree With Rush Limbaugh;... - Quotes

Is Bill Clinton So Good At Politics, Or Are Other Politicians So Bad?

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (398) - Is Bill Clinton So Good At Politics... - QuotesIs Bill Clinton So Good At Politics, Or Are Other Politicians So Bad?

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (398) - Is Bill Clinton So Good At Politics... - Quotes

There Is No 20-year Period In American History When Stocks Lost Money.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (399) - There Is No 20-year Period In Ameri... - QuotesThere Is No 20-year Period In American History When Stocks Lost Money.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (399) - There Is No 20-year Period In Ameri... - Quotes

After All, What Is Your Host's Purpose In Having A Party? Surely Not For You To Enjoy Yourself; If That Were Their Sole Purpose, They'd Have Simply Sent Champagne And Women Over To Your Place By Taxi.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (40) - After All, What Is Your Host's Purpo... - QuotesAfter All, What Is Your Host's Purpose In Having A Party? Surely Not For You To Enjoy Yourself; If That Were Their Sole Purpose, They'd Have Simply Sent Champagne And Women Over To Your Place By Taxi.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (40) - After All, What Is Your Host's Purpo... - Quotes

The Library, With Its Daedalian Labyrinth, Mysterious Hush, And Faintly Ominous Aroma Of Knowledge, Has Been Replaced By The Computer's Cheap Glow, Pesky Chirp, And Data Spillage.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (4) - The Library, With Its Daedalian Labyr... - QuotesThe Library, With Its Daedalian Labyrinth, Mysterious Hush, And Faintly Ominous Aroma Of Knowledge, Has Been Replaced By The Computer's Cheap Glow, Pesky Chirp, And Data Spillage.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (4) - The Library, With Its Daedalian Labyr... - Quotes

Philosophy Was Once Considered Science.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (400) - Philosophy Was Once Considered Scie... - QuotesPhilosophy Was Once Considered Science.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (400) - Philosophy Was Once Considered Scie... - Quotes

Rahm Emanuel Is, We Are Almost Certain, A Vampire.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (401) - Rahm Emanuel Is, We Are Almost Cert... - QuotesRahm Emanuel Is, We Are Almost Certain, A Vampire.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (401) - Rahm Emanuel Is, We Are Almost Cert... - Quotes

You May Be Surprised To Discover You're Rich, Especially If You're Broke.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (403) - You May Be Surprised To Discover Yo... - QuotesYou May Be Surprised To Discover You're Rich, Especially If You're Broke.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (403) - You May Be Surprised To Discover Yo... - Quotes

The Mystery Of Government Is Not How Washington Works But How To Make It Stop.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (402) - The Mystery Of Government Is Not Ho... - QuotesThe Mystery Of Government Is Not How Washington Works But How To Make It Stop.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (402) - The Mystery Of Government Is Not Ho... - Quotes

We Need A Government, Alas, Because Of The Nature Of Humans.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (404) - We Need A Government, Alas, Because... - QuotesWe Need A Government, Alas, Because Of The Nature Of Humans.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (404) - We Need A Government, Alas, Because... - Quotes

I'm Old Enough To Remember When The Air Over American Cities Was A Lot Dirtier Than It Is Now.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (405) - I'm Old Enough To Remember When The... - QuotesI'm Old Enough To Remember When The Air Over American Cities Was A Lot Dirtier Than It Is Now.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (405) - I'm Old Enough To Remember When The... - Quotes

There Isn't Much Room For An Outsider Point Of View In Print Any More.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (407) - There Isn't Much Room For An Outsid... - QuotesThere Isn't Much Room For An Outsider Point Of View In Print Any More.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (407) - There Isn't Much Room For An Outsid... - Quotes

I'm A Political Conservative.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (408) - I'm A Political Conservative.... - QuotesI'm A Political Conservative.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (408) - I'm A Political Conservative.... - Quotes

Fortunately, I'm Married To Someone Who's A Pretty Excellent Parent!

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (409) - Fortunately, I'm Married To Someone... - QuotesFortunately, I'm Married To Someone Who's A Pretty Excellent Parent!

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (409) - Fortunately, I'm Married To Someone... - Quotes

I'm Really Tired Of Virtue.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (406) - I'm Really Tired Of Virtue.... - QuotesI'm Really Tired Of Virtue.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (406) - I'm Really Tired Of Virtue.... - Quotes

I Do Have To Travel A Lot For Speaking Engagements.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (410) - I Do Have To Travel A Lot For Speak... - QuotesI Do Have To Travel A Lot For Speaking Engagements.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (410) - I Do Have To Travel A Lot For Speak... - Quotes

I'm A Rather Decisive Type.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (411) - I'm A Rather Decisive Type.... - QuotesI'm A Rather Decisive Type.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (411) - I'm A Rather Decisive Type.... - Quotes

Soldiers Are Not Policemen, And It's Very Unfair, Even For Those Soldiers Who Have Some Police Training, To Burden Them With Police Duties. It's Not What They're Trained For, Or Equipped For.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (412) - Soldiers Are Not Policemen, And It'... - QuotesSoldiers Are Not Policemen, And It's Very Unfair, Even For Those Soldiers Who Have Some Police Training, To Burden Them With Police Duties. It's Not What They're Trained For, Or Equipped For.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (412) - Soldiers Are Not Policemen, And It'... - Quotes

If We Were To Inspect Ourselves Or Members Of Our Family And Our Friends, We Would See That We Don't Really Have To Go All The Way Overseas To Be Mystified - We Can Be Mystified Right At Home.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (413) - If We Were To Inspect Ourselves Or ... - QuotesIf We Were To Inspect Ourselves Or Members Of Our Family And Our Friends, We Would See That We Don't Really Have To Go All The Way Overseas To Be Mystified - We Can Be Mystified Right At Home.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (413) - If We Were To Inspect Ourselves Or ... - Quotes

You Can Learn All About The Human Condition From Covering The Crime Beat In A Big City - You Don't Need To Go To Beirut For That - But A Foreign Correspondent Begins To Understand Poverty From A Different Perspective.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (41) - You Can Learn All About The Human Co... - QuotesYou Can Learn All About The Human Condition From Covering The Crime Beat In A Big City - You Don't Need To Go To Beirut For That - But A Foreign Correspondent Begins To Understand Poverty From A Different Perspective.

P. J. O'Rourke Quotes (41) - You Can Learn All About The Human Co... - Quotes